“Ma’am, you are a mystery”

One of the doctors who taught medical students stopped to speak with me. “I would like to ask you to cooperate as a patient in an examination for medical students,” she said. “You are an interesting case.”
“How will that proceed?” I asked.
“Well, first you’ll be placed in a wheelchair…” she began before I interrupted.
I emphasized that I would not be put in a wheelchair because my paralysis made me unable to sit properly. I informed him that the only way I would participate would be while I was lying in a hospital bed. They capitulated and converted the lecture room so my hospital bed would fit in it.
Since they came to collect me early, they caught me in the middle of eating a diced apple. The nurse suggested that I take the apple with me; thus, after a wobbly ride through the corridors due to the difficulty of steering a hospital bed, I arrived at the lecture room with apple in hand amidst three kind students.
I was surrounded on both sides of the bed by five female students. It was remarkable that they were all female. The students were committed and smart, and they were instructed by two experienced, older professors.
I was impressed with how the professors taught. First, the students had to find out by themselves what was wrong with me. They would ask me probing questions while their professors encouraged them to ask more. The professors would prod the students to question what else may be the cause of my symptoms. “Never assume anything,” they instructed. I wish I could give the professors an award for their great teaching skills. Instead, I tried to be the best guinea pig patient I could be. I only hoped that once these students became doctors, they would take the same amount of time to question their patients to ensure they had all the information they needed to make a proper diagnosis.
During this questioning, the students moved my limbs and checked my reflexes. I had one that was typical for a paralyzed foot, and everyone was allowed to try to get the reflex going. It tickled and made me laugh.
Finally, the professors asked the students what their verdict was. What was the diagnosis?
The students frowned and responded, “we don’t know what it is, but we do know what it isn’t.”
On the way back to the ward, one of the students gave me her verdict: “Ma’am, you are a mystery.”